Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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