RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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