So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
