Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
