totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
