So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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