I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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