omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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