I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm at about main and main street
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
