Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
