Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
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There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
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If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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