i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
