There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
