I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
