I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
