Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
