Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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