What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
