I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
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I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
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I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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