You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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