if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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