she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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