You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Shame - the story of my life.
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