In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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