how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
