she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
