Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
