Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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