textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
