no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
