Is it normal to miss your booty call?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
