it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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