he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
