Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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