You can't motorboat a personality
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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