Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
