Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
