He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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