We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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