dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize