yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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