I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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