I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
