i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
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I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
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Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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