Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I understand Curling. That high.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
