Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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