Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize