The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
