i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
