My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
