toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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