Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND