i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
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a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
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He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.