I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."