i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This is my gift to your gina
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
