no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
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