You're completely useless in the revolution.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
