my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize