Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
